The Musings of Faith

Lets just get it straight who we we are submitting to here. The husband is the CEO of the family. He provides his family a lifestyle that is comfortable and fosters health, love, and growth for every member of that family. He loves and respects his wife always treating her with kindness and as an equal. He loves and disciplines his children. This is a husband.

My husband and I will discuss major decisions together. We know each other pretty well and he knows I have strong opinions. He may not always want to hear it but I know he appreciates what I have to say. I know I can change his mind on some topics and not at all on some topics. But we still talk about it and hear each other all the way out. But the family is 1 unit with 1 CEO. A wife submits to being COO - not his secretary. There is a difference.

Now that being said, I do not believe all husbands are made equal. Any woman who does not feel safe in her relationship, even for a fleeting moment, has a man who himself needs to submit. A man who cannot submit to Him is a ticking time bomb. If that is you, take Oprah’s advice.

I twitter. And I follow @BlackWomen who put out this great quote:

“Women can have successful careers and businesses…but if married, you still have to be in submission to your husband.”

— A Wise Black Mom

I immediately retweeted and knowing that this subject of submission will not be well received I sent out a warning tweet first. I wanted folks to open their ears to the message. And they did; wanting immediate explanation from me. I promised to blog a post knowing that 140 characters just would not suffice.  Now let’s look at this quote and understand its context.

First off, this wise black mom and I are only talking about wives. Let’s be clear.  If you are somebody’s girlfriend, only YOU have authority to make decisions for yourself or your well-being.  The boyfriend can give you input but he has no authority.  But when you are married, you are saying that this is the man who you are now allowing the right to take care of you as he sees fit.  YOU give him that authority.  That is why men must ask us to marry - they can’t just tell us.  There is strength in that!

This submission is not weakness.  Let me repeat that again: Submission is NOT weakness.  Quite the opposite of weakness for it takes great strength to stand back and allow your husband to be a man.  That’s really at the heart of submission.  Can you be strong enough to allow him to call the shots? Can you be strong enough to trust that he will make the right decision? Can you be strong enough to fully support and carry out his decision? Can you do fully support him when his decisions run counter to yours?  It’s HARD!  And that is why I say that only a strong woman can do this.

The successful coporate woman is a strong woman who can and must wield awesome strength in various ways to close deals, lead employees, and deliver as promised.  She has uncanny intellect that allows her to delegate and lead as necessary to balance personal and professional needs.  She is no dummy and certainly no pushover.  But she does submit to somebody - her boss - who makes a decision that she will carry out.  It is never considered a form of weakness at work.  Successful female entrpreneuers work with investors and a board of directors and may have to submit to their decision at times.  Is she weak then?  Of course not!  It is business and those decisions are made in the best interest of the company.

It is the same case in the home.  In a marriage, there must be 1 final decision maker just like in business.  That role lies with the man.  Women will give their input (you know that!) and debate an idea, opinion or point of view.  Most husbands welcome the input.  But when there is a disagreement, somebody has to make a final decision and that responsibility lies with the husband.  He must be trusted that his decision will be the best for the family.  As wife, I must support those decisions regardless. There is great strength in that!  It’s hard to do and only a woman strong enough in her faith and her abilities can do it.

Allow your husband to step into his role and lead your family.  Be strong enough to give him input and still carry out and support his decisions.  He may decide to do what you say. Great. He may not. Fine.  Either way, the decision is his to make.  That’s not weakness.  That’s freedom.

Many of you who disagree will think about an abusive husband or relationship.  If a man is not stepping up and fulfiling his responsibilities as a husband then there cannot be submission from the woman because there is essentially no husband present to be submissive to.  Submission is only required from women who are married to a man that loves and respects her and himself enough to be the leader.  Women if you are willing to be submissive is your man willing to lead?  Then you got yourself a good husband. Let him take care of you! With all you do everyday, you deserve it.

I love this: My Husband IS The Boss of Me! written by @TheTinyJEWELBox.